Life Lessons

Through life there are many lessons learnt. Some are learnt easily, some take time and energy, then there are others that are learnt from others.

For example:

If you fall out of a tree, you learn that if you do climb a tree you have to hold on.

When you punch someone and they punch you back, you learn that when you give pain, more often than not you will feel pain yourself in one form or another.

When you attack someone physically or verbally, they will generally attack you back.

You may have learnt by looking at someone that you don't want to treat people in the same way they did.

Our 'Life Lessons' are learnt in many different ways, through many forms of teaching. The 'Life Lessons' I am referring to aren't what you learnt in the classroom, they are what you learnt in the school yard. They aren't what you learnt at University, but you did learn them at home. It's not what your parents taught you, instead perhaps your friends showed you the way. 'Life Lessons' are the lessons that help us become the individuals we are. They have nothing to do with intelligence, instead it's how you live your life. They have nothing to do with your social class, instead it's how you deal with the different social classes.

They are the lesson's we look back on and wonder how we got out of that situation, they are the lessons that we tell our friends about as we compare tragedies or events in our lives. 'Life Lessons' are truly learnt, understood and appreciated only when the 'raw emotion' is removed. For example, if we experience loss in our life of a loved one. We do not understand what that loved one has passed onto us until we remove our grief. Until we remove our 'sadness' from the situation. That isn't to say that we shouldn't feel the 'grief & sadness', we need to feel these things as part of the loss. The difference is that at some point you realise that being sad for the death isn't going to do anyone any good, and at THAT exact moment you start to learn. You learn the 'Life Lesson' involved in that moment. It is through a negative experience do we truly realise what we are capable of.

Problems in life only become 'big problems' when fed energy. The 'energy' I am referring to is worry & concern. If a 'problem' is seen as a learning experience, the 'solution' is soon realised. This is only because we are thinking in a 'positive' way and it's a natural step for the brain to find 'loop holes', this is one of the many differences between animals and humans. Humans will see something and naturally try to understand it. Animals see something and simply deal with it.

We have probably all heard of people who have problems they need to work through, most of the time the 'bigger' problems are something to do with their past. They may have anger towards and individual, they may regret saying or doing something. Everyone has 'issues' in their past to work through. As long as they ARE worked through everyone benefits. Different people work through things at different paces and in different ways. Sometimes you may come across someone who has had the same sort of problem, listening to how they 'got through it' may help in realising ways for yourself. As long as the 'issues' are being worked through, it does benefit all involved. When you give up on trying to resolve an issue, you are only restricting yourself from being the 'full you'.

We are bi-products of our environment, parents, experiences and lessons. Some say "I would have turned out like this no matter where I was born". To me this doesn't make sense, but I understand that this is one way to look at life. I've had others say "If what you are saying is true, why do twins not have the same personality?" To me this question answers itself. Out of a set of twins there will be slight differences in how they grow up, how they deal with situations, how they interpret information, how they treat others. These minor differences over time spread wider and wider. They essentially may share the same 'DNA', but they do not always share the same attitudes when it comes to what is 'right' and what isn't.

Inner Spirit

You may have heard people say "The 'hippies' are fashionable again", it could have been, "I just don't get all this 'New Age' crap". Perhaps you know someone who has started reading a book by the Dalia Lama and you simply don't understand why. You may have even heard about Oprah having a show dedicated to something called "Remembering Your Spirit".

Some of us have a natural 'wanting' when it comes to finding out "who are are", "why are we here" or "what's the point". Others don't care about those questions, they are just 'exist' with the logic of "I'm alive, isn't that enough". Then you've got the ones who want to 'know' so badly that they devote their whole lives to 'the search'.

Every single one of can fall into one or part of many of these categories. Every one of us has an 'inner voice'. This is something that we ALL have in common. The differences come into place depending on how much we listen to that 'inner voice'.

People have asked me in all seriousness

"I've got so many voices in my head, which one am I meant to listen too?"

The answer to that, although personal, is reasonably easy. Listen to the one that is talking to you logically, talking to you in a way that makes sense to YOU, the one that communicates with more than just a 'inner voice' it also drives the 'feelings' inside you. It is 'those' feelings that Oprah is referring to I believe. There seems to be a massive shift in what people want out of life. 30 years ago it was marriage and kids, 20 years ago it was peace, marriage and kids. 10 Years ago it was to be an individual, peace, marriage and kids. Today in the 90's more and more people are wanting to not only be recognised as an individual, but to understand 'who that individual is'. To understand ourselves better, why are we the way we are. What makes me who I am ?

30 years ago, if someone had told their friends that they meditated they were either referred to as a 'hippy' or a 'crackpot'. 20 years ago it was a little more accepted, but there was still the 'comments in the background'. 10 years ago it almost became fashionable in what was called a 'New Age' era. These days, everyone knows someone who meditates or has spiritual interests. The ones who in the 50's were telling us that "No there is no other life in space" are either dead or have swung around to say "There MIGHT be other life in space". Those who still believe we are alone are generally alone with their thoughts, simply because more and more people have come to their own conclusion. This is what is happening now and will continue to happen for a while yet. Individuals are coming to their own conclusion that there is 'more to life'. More and more individuals are creating their own personal faith system, not one that is based 100% on a book written thousands of years ago, or on 'other peoples' beliefs. Faith is more personal than that, faith is something you hold inside. Some people share their belief system and 'spread the word', others hold it close to their heart. Some don't want to share their faith system for fear of being rejected or laughed at, but these people are realising more and more that in this day and age it is an accepted, almost expected thing, that we all share. The differences may be a colour, a feeling or a thought, but essentially the belief is the same.

Most people realise it's not good to harm or kill another human.

Most people realise it's not healthy to lie.

Most people realise happiness doesn't come with material possessions.

Most people realise that all humans are ALL HUMANS.

So why is it that most people realise this, but not many 'live' this ?

For me the answer is this. If people looked back at their lives and the 'Life Lessons' they have learnt, they would realise that the way they ARE living compared to the way they know they SHOULD be living are two totally different things. However they still find time to complain that their life isn't what they want it to be. Maybe it's just me, but I find it easier to live life in the way that I get pleasure and happiness. To do this is simple, I follow my 'inner voice', my 'inner spirit'. If I 'feel' I've done wrong, I will correct it. If I feel I've hurt someone, I will care and love them. If I feel I should say something, I open my mouth and communicate what my 'inner spirit' is saying.

It is not until we experience something bad do we realise we had something good. This doesn't have to be the way it is, unfortunately though, this is the way we have trained our children in the past, it's the way you and I were trained. If we appreciate what we have and who we are, society says we are arrogant. Arrogance in my definition is simply 'making claims to be superior to another'. Appreciating who you are, what you've been through and your life around you is not 'claiming superiority'. Perhaps those doing the name calling feel inferior, perhaps they want what their 'arrogant friend' has. Inner peace, understanding of ones self, appreciation for their existence. Something else I've found is that those doing the name calling are also those who aren't happy with themselves.

It's sort of like Smokers and 'Born Again' Non-Smokers. All cigarette smokers know that 'Reformed Smokers' or 'Born Again' Non-Smokers are the first to complain about cigarettes. A year ago they would be puffing their lungs out and laughing at the 'Born Agains', but now they have given up they feel it necessary to share their 'new found wisdom' that smoking is bad for you. Those who smoke aren't particularly concerned with those who don't. However the ones that DID and now DON'T feel as though they need to criticise their old acquaintances.

Those that have the 'inner peace' don't feel the need to prove themselves right, but those that don't have the inner peace often feel the need to prove how right they are in their thinking. Who are they trying to prove it too though ? Like the Non-smokers, who are they really trying to prove their point too ?

In my opinion, the ones who throw stones are the ones who should also wonder what it's like to catch those stones. Instead of abusing, criticising and 'telling' others are also the ones that on average need to take a look at themselves, they need to find out why they believe everyone has to fit their moulds. Why do they feel the need to be so 'right' ? Can they not accept someone thinks differently ?

Acceptance is a wonderful tool to have. If you can accept things naturally for the way they are, you have a gift. If you can accept things could be better, you also have a wonderful gift. However, your acceptance will not be agreed with 100% of the time. Not because you are wrong in your views, but simply because not everyone can accept easily. There are individuals who will see a situation and before trying to understand why that situation occurred, they will try and change the outcome. This is not healthy. One must always understand, appreciate and then accept. Once there is understanding, appreciation and acceptance only at that point can a 'better way' be taught.

Religion

Something the Internet has allowed us to do is communicate.

Some will obviously reply to that with

"My partner logs on each night & I never them anymore", to these people I can only apologise and suggest you find out what it is that your partner has on the Internet that they enjoy more than reality. For the rest of us though, when controlled, the Internet is a wonderful communication tool. I have spoken to more people from oversea's through the Internet than I had ever before.

Personally I like to go to 'Spiritual Chats', these things are everywhere. There is one for every religion you could think of. However when you get into these things one of two things will be occurring. Either people will be discussing their different religious choices and explaining them to each other, OR people are in there telling each other they have it all wrong and they will go to hell for thinking that way.

My favourite question for these 'judgemental' individuals is simply

"What if YOU have it wrong? What if they are totally right in their belief and instead YOU have your belief wrong? What if everything you hold tight to you in faith, is totally off base?" The normal response to this is abuse, I have been told many times I will go to hell and I'm a sinner. Only once have I got an answer to those questions that I'm able to write in here. The answer was as simple as the question, "I'd never thought of that." To this day I'm still in contact with this individual and we are always throwing idea's and concepts at each other. Not trying to prove one another wrong, but simply trying to understand each other that little bit more. This person now also enters chat rooms with those questions, and as with me, also receives a lot of abuse. However, there has been a realisation with this person. It no longer matters who is right, who is wrong and who has no idea. It only matters that there is an understanding. It only matters that we are all different, we do all have our own beliefs, and it really doesn't matter if that abuser turns blue in the face trying to explain why they are right and I'm wrong. Nothing they say is going to change my thoughts on who I am, what I stand for and what I think is good and bad.

The reason for this is because if I am going to evolve I have to understand the experience to be able to learn from it. With people telling me I'm wrong and 'forcing' their beliefs down my throat, the only thing that it accomplishes is that I appreciate who I am more. I am very pleased that I don't feel the need to push myself onto others, that I feel good enough about myself that I don't have to have others agree with me 100% of the time. I believe if 1 out of 10 people were to have this 'inner peace' about themselves there would not be world wars. Simply because we would appreciate our individuality and respect the right of others. We wouldn't need to have them think like us, and we'd realise they think the way they do for a reason. Ego leaves when thoughts are processed in this way. Our 'self' is not damaged simply because we will always feel good about who we are. And this is the most important lesson any parent can teach their child.

No matter what happens, no matter what is said, no matter what you feel, always remember the universe is full of amazing things. Each with it's own place, part and special characteristics. You are ONE of these amazingly beautiful things. YOU have your own special characteristics. So although there maybe 5 billion people on this planet, YOU are YOU, and no one else can say that.

"The Universe doesn't make Junk". Even asteroids have energy, purpose and existence. Unlike an asteroid though, YOU have intelligence and are able to use that in any way YOU choose to.

                                                                                                -- g.m.c --